Ringside Politics With A Punch

After having infected the people of New Orleans for the past seven years with the Nagin Flu, it is quite ironic that the Mayor of New Orleans may have been exposed to the Swine Flu on a flight to China. A passenger seated near Mayor Nagin exhibited symptoms of the Swine Flu and now the Mayor is under quarantine in Shanghai, China. This may disrupt Nagin’s plans to give the keynote address at a global warming summit in Australia.

This mayoral visit to China and Australia is another one of Nagin’s supposed “economic development” missions. This is his second journey to the Far East in the last year. As Mayor, Nagin has developed a fondness for crisscrossing the globe on “economic development” missions. Curiously, none of these trips have ever led to one job or one business moving to the City of New Orleans. However, it has sure allowed Mayor Nagin to see the world and develop nice pictures for his scrapbook! At least this trip is not being underwritten by a technology vendor of the City of New Orleans. Certainly, this unusual quarantine will spur Mayor Nagin’s memory and allow him to remember this experience. It would be horrible if this trip was another “blur” like his post-hurricane excursion to Jamaica. 

For the good of the people of the City of New Orleans, I think it is imperative that the government of the People’s Republic of China keep Mayor Nagin in quarantine in their country for the next 11 months. In that way, they can make completely sure that he does not develop any symptoms of the dreaded flu and he will not be able to infect anyone upon his return to New Orleans.

The Crescent City has enough problems without having to worry about a Nagin generated Swine Flu epidemic. In fact, Mayor Nagin has caused many of the city’s current problems, so it is only appropriate that he stay out of the city for the remainder of his term. During his 11 month quarantine, Nagin can return to health and the City of New Orleans can recover from another serious disease, the Nagin Flu.

The symptoms of the Nagin Flu are quite severe and multi-faceted. They include a lack of cranes in the sky, an anemic hurricane recovery, a poor public education system, horrific street conditions, rampant violent crime, boneheaded comments from City Hall, outlandish promises that are never kept, too many city vehicles, not enough working crime cameras, a strip club loving technology director, an email obsessed and arrogant sanitation director, and a disillusioned and disgusted populace just to name a few.

Clearly if there is a disease as dangerous as the Swine Flu, it is the Nagin Flu. In fact, the Nagin Flu has infected 465,000 people, the pre-Katrina population of New Orleans, which is even more people than the Swine Flu has afflicted. Sadly, the victims of the Nagin Flu have been mostly concentrated in the City of New Orleans. Other cities have benefited from the Nagin Flu as our citizens and businesses have flocked to other areas during the seven year duration of this epidemic.

If you share my concern for the people of New Orleans, please join me in petitioning Chinese leaders to keep Mayor Nagin under quarantine for at least the next 11 months. This will allow time for Mr. Nagin to recover and for the people of New Orleans to recover. After the extended quarantine, he will not be in a position to inflict more damage on the people of New Orleans as another Mayor will have already been elected and taken office.

It doesn’t take a fortune cookie for the people of New Orleans to know that they are better off without Mayor Nagin. However, we need to give Mayor Nagin credit for accomplishing one of his goals during this trip to China. With all of the publicity about his quarantine, Mr. Nagin is certainly keeping the New Orleans “brand” out there.